


Waiting

by jadedfirefly



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 08:11:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8048866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadedfirefly/pseuds/jadedfirefly
Summary: Draco has always been waiting but when will it be time for him to stop waiting?





	Waiting

Waiting

 

That’s what Draco always does.

 

He waits.

 

He waited for his parents to pick him up when his mother gave birth to his brother

 

He waited for his parents to care for his brother before they came to him

 

He waited for his brother to stop screaming as he wanted to tell his parents of his achievement in school

 

He waited to be picked up because his parents needed to go pick his brother up from the nursery first

 

He waited to for the bus when picking him up took too long of a time

 

He waited for the chicken to be boiled as he ended up cooking dinner for the family since his parents were far too busy and his brother was too flamboyant to cook

 

He waited as his results came out

 

He waited as his university results came out

 

He waited for his scholarship results to come out

 

He waited for his flight

 

He waited to be attended to when he reached his dorm in Canada

 

He waited as his Professor entered and started class

 

He waited for that one handsome man in class to acknowledge him since the male kept looking at him

 

He waited as he was stood up from a date from the said person

 

He waited for the mocking laughter of him being gay and being stood up to cool down

 

He waited as another person approached him

 

And now he is waiting for his second date to stand up on him too

 

Looking towards the bridge, Draco thinks to himself that he was waiting for his parents to call him too.

 

He must like waiting then because most people would had been impatient by now.

 

Maybe he should start being impatient

 

 

 

How do you be impatient?

 

 

 

Draco stands up from the bench as he walks away from the said meeting spot.

 

The next day, he waits for the male in front of him to give him excuses of why he couldn’t come.

 

Draco doesn’t reply to him and walks away

 

 

_Don’t waste my time_

 

 

Draco thinks of the irony of his own words seeing as he has been waiting for one thing or another his entire life. He wonders when was it that he started to wait, to be put second of everything in his life, to be cast as not important and that could wait and he thinks that maybe all these happened since his brother was conceived.

 

 

 

That was a very long ago.

 

 

 

But no doubt, it was probably the truth.

 

Since Dominic was conceived, his parents put him second because hopefully this child would act like a normal child and hopefully this child doesn’t turn out gay

 

 

Draco snorts to himself remembering him waiting outside the living room as his parents whispered to each other about him being gay and how it was not normal

 

 

He waited for them to talk to him about it, to say something, to kick him out of the room but nothing.

 

He waited for them to drop the bomb, for them to ask him to leave but they said nothing so he took the first step to leave instead.

 

It’s much better like this and hopefully when he has graduated, he doesn’t need to return to England and that he just continues to work here and maybe that way he can disappear from their lives.

 

 

Maybe they can disappear from his life

 

 

His parents would probably be glad to be rid of a gay son seeing as to how closed minded they were

 

His brother probably wouldn’t even care

 

So he pretends to be an orphan when people ask him about his family and evades any questions of his background

 

People stop asking after awhile

 

Some people are better at respecting privacy

 

Others not

 

Which is why he is being cornered by a group of people to tell them about his life in England

 

 

They obviously haven’t heard of Google

 

 

He waits for them to stop talking and he waits as they stare at him

 

He doesn’t say anything of course and he just sighs unamused with their stupidity

 

 

_Come on, just fucking spill about England! It’s not like you telling us about it will kill anyone_

 

 

Draco on the other hand thinks otherwise and he pushes his way through and leaves

 

 

But amidst all those angst there is of course love

 

 

And Draco is still waiting for that one man in his life

 

They grew up together

 

But they rarely met each other because firstly the other was from a different country and secondly because since his parents found out he was gay they banned him from meeting the other boy

 

Which is why he has left them to go to the boy’s country instead to hopefully meet him

 

They arranged to meet but it seems like he going to be stood up again.

 

Their first meet was great. The other male had paid for dinner and the movie while Draco paid for the desserts and they said they would meet again.

 

But the text never came and the other boy always responded with one worded replies whenever Draco texted first

 

Maybe he wasn’t interested in him anymore

 

Maybe he wasn’t interested in him in the first place

 

Maybe they just didn’t work out

 

Maybe there was nothing to work at all

 

Maybe this was a bad idea

 

Maybe the boy wasn’t Draco’s

 

Maybe they would never be together because the other boy had already moved on

 

Maybe there was nothing for anyone to move on because there was nothing between them in the first place

 

Maybe Draco just wasn’t his type

 

Maybe to him, Draco was just a friend

 

Maybe to him, Draco wasn’t even a friend

 

 

Draco doesn’t know what hurt more;

 

 

 

To be ignored or to be treated as a friend that can be ignored

 

 

 

Draco shuts his eyes as lies on his bed

 

When will all this end?

 

Draco gets a relapse that very night

 

Something he has been trying to avoid since now he is alone

 

It’s dangerous when he is alone and has a relapse

 

 

 

He chooses not to get up the next morning

 

And he chooses to stop eating so that he can lose those excess weight

 

Maybe he will like Draco better if he was thinner and slimmer

 

Maybe those extra curves had to go

 

He continues having a relapse and no one can tell the difference because he has always been a little private about himself

 

 

He stops talking too excitedly; because no one listens to what he really says

 

He stops making jokes; because everyone was laughing to amuse him

 

He stops smiling; because why smile when you’re breaking apart

 

He stops following others when they go out; because his presence is just an obstacle anyways

 

He stops following others to eat; because things get awkward with him there

 

He stops performing; because he is too tired to do anything by the end of the day

 

He just stops doing anything

 

Maybe waiting was better compared to how Draco was destroying himself

 

Of course he knows he is destroying himself; he is a sociology student he analysed himself

 

Those people in his line of path was dangerous to themselves

 

 

 

Draco sits in front of his computer

 

He tries to study

 

He tries to finish his assignments

 

He tries to not check his phone every once in a while so that he doesn’t get his hopes too high

 

The other male will call if he wants to meet up

 

Hopefully

 

Probably

 

Probably not

 

But Draco will just continue waiting

 

Because there isn’t anything that he can do anyways.

 

 

 

Draco can’t predict the future

 

And he can’t fix the past

 

He can’t fix himself

 

And he can’t force others to like him

 

Maybe there are others who liked him along the way

 

But he was too oblivious to know any of it

 

He used to be such an optimistic child

 

He had to be

 

And look where all those things had led him

 

He painted the entire floor with paint and now doesn’t have a way out from his spot

 

So he just waits

 

Like he always does

 

But probably with more peace now since no one is there to disturb his peace

 

 

 

And maybe when his relapse is so strong, maybe he will shut his eyes and just never wake up

 

He never knows

 

So he just waits

 

Because that’s all that he can do.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing Drarry so sorry if it turned out bad. I'm still not used to AO3 despite being here for almost a year. I still get confused with the functions of everything.
> 
> On the side note, I wrote this as an outlet so it does not have anything got to do with the real Harry Potter or J.K Rowling. I'm saying this is an outlet because it relates to me someway or another, not the whole thing but certain parts of it but I hope it was alright.


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